What does it mean to be Christian in today's world?

Every time I read a page of the bible, memories of guilt and sins come pouring in and effectively making me feel i'm definitely wouldn't make it to heaven. Another way of saying it - and perhaps, my understanding of the religion is somewhat flawed, in addition to my being sinful as it is. 

The funny thing is, on Sunday I could be praying for forgiveness and admit that I sinned. But the following Monday and the days that follow until Sunday, I would do again the very thing that I prayed for on Sunday. So, when I'm saying my prayer at night before I'm off to sleep, I could not hide feeling guilty and "dirty". It takes constant reminding of what I promised Him and the prayers that I said the night before that could at least keep me not too far off the "right" path in life. 

As my work require me to work with people, communicate and in relationship - professionally and unprofessionally, it does make the whole thing much more difficult and I couldn't keep track the number of times I hated myself for breaking the promises. Filthy hypocrite! Yes, I am. 

So, what does it mean to be a Christian today?

When work require us to work with people and the more people we meet, the higher the chances that we might hate somebody, say nasty things and make up story about them, it makes the whole thing much more frustrating, huh? It happened.

And with our lives today are so entwined with money, there are extra challenges we have to cope with. That we have to keep ourselves far away from,

Broken Promises

'Destroying' Competitors

Lies

Revenge

Proud

Gambling

These are the things that are often reminded to us by Him not to pursue but these are the things that I couldn't keep myself away from most of the time. Sometimes, it just felt much easier to take the easy road, keeping in mind, I have tonight and Church on Sunday to repent. 

And what do we do when our friends, or members of our family start talking about

being drunk in clubs is the best thing in the world

women's boobs are "delicious!"

I don't deny that I enjoy these type of conversations. Truthfully speaking, I love talking about it. 

So, what does it mean to be a Christian today?

The more I look at it, the more hypocrite I sound. 

Well, I suppose the best way is to take the hard road of reminding ourselves - myself of my promises and to remain on realistic ground as well. I think of women too much today and about sex too, but to drastically stop myself from thinking about it overnight? I might be able to survive for a week at most, but a month? a year?

And what happens when the people close to us in our lives start doing things we felt not right? There are things that I believe, couldn't be changed too drastically. My life is filled with sins and sinful acts, the poison couldn't be taken away from me so quickly. As with cigarette, the moment you stop by taking the "cold-turkey" method, your body would sort of be in shock and actually, it's quite dangerous in a way. 

I guess it's a constant struggle against sins as I live. But then again, everyone has their respective lives to live and different path which they take. So, what about you?

What's your take as being a Christian in the modern world?

or even if you're not of the faith, and of other religion - what's your take?