A sparkling sex life is something we'd all like to have, regardless of age. When sex is less than satisfying, it's easy to point the finger at work, money, family and a million other factors that combine to make it less important and, thus, less fulfilling. But as today's leading physicians and sex researchers are discovering, the link between female libido and the constantly fluctuating hormones produced by the ovaries is profound. Find out how controlling your body's unique balance can make a big difference to your sex life.
In your 20s
The advantages
A dazzling time to do it: "At this age, oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone are at their highest levels," says Laura Berman, PhD, the author of Loving Sex: The Book of Joy and Passion. This biological bounce is an opportunity for great loving-and babies too. Because hormones surge just before ovulation, women are more likely to fantasise about and initiate sex during this two to four day window, according to studies.
The challenges
A need for more roar-gasms: According to the 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behaviour, 20-somethings are less orgasmic than older women. "Despite the hormone swirl, women in their 20s may not yet have the confidence to ask for what they want in bed, so they're less satisfied," says Christiane Northrup, MD, the author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom.
A sex-drive stopper: A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine confirms that the Pill, a 20-something birth control favourite, actually causes a decrease in sex hormones, especially testosterone.
In your 30s
The advantages
Prime time: "A woman in her 30s may well find herself at an emotional sexual peak. She's clear about what she wants, what gives her pleasure and what does not," says Varkha Chulani, Mumbai-based clinical psychologist and psychotherapist. This, despite the fact that her oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone begin to fluctuate and drop during this decade. More good news: Studies have shown that as women age, they become less anxious about their physical 'flaws', which helps when one is baring all in the bedroom. The key is to think of yourself as a sexy, attractive woman, regardless of hormone tempo."
The challenges
Mommy madness: After childbirth, testosterone dips, and in nursing moms, the hormone prolactin can suppress ovulation, and the production of oestrogen and progesterone. Result? Sex is a big fat snore. Try masturbation. Regardless of age, just using your equipment will turn on your equipment, which will in turn improve circulation and help balance your hormones.
In your 40s
The advantages
Call of the cougar: As a new study conducted at the University of Texas at Austin posits, female sex drive may actually increase as a woman's sex hormones and fertility decrease. "Women with declining fertility think more about sex, have more frequent and intense sexual fantasies, are more willing to engage in sexual intercourse, and report actually engaging in sexual intercourse more frequently than women of other age groups," say the study authors. It seemed surprising to many when the findings were announced, but the researchers have an explanation. They theorise that our female ancestors were so accustomed to losing children to disease, war, or starvation that they evolved to crave more sex-at a relatively advanced age-to produce more babies.
The challenges
The perils of perimenopause: "By 40," says Glenn D Braunstein, MD, an department of medicine at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, "a woman's testosterone levels will be about half the level they were at 25." And yes, that drop certainly affects libido. For the average woman who enters peri-menopause (defined as the four or so years leading up to her final period) in her late 40s, fluctuating oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone levels may put a dampener on bedroom bliss. Irregular periods and even her first hot flushes may appear. To smooth things out, Dr Sujata Datta, consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist, Fortis Hospitals, Kolkata, prescribes local oestrogen creams and applicants. (Oestrogens that are applied locally to the vagina are widely believed to be safer than oral oestrogens, which carry some cancer risks.) "These are especially helpful in tackling vaginal dryness and discomfort by improving lubrication- and therefore, pleasure," she adds.
Another bummer: Fear of an unwanted, late-age pregnancy. Because, underlying health conditions such as hypertension may demand a switch from contraceptive pills, IUD may be a safer option at this age, adds Datta.
In your 50s
The advantages
With maturity, expertise: As author Gail Sheehy wrote in her classic book on ageing, Sex and the Seasoned Woman: "The middle years, between 50 and 65, constitute the apex of adult life… For women, the passage to be made is from pleasing to mastery." Indeed, the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, US, found that 71% of 50-somethings surveyed-more than any other age group-said their last sexual experience resulted in an orgasm. Think the statistics is alien? Hear out Dr Puneet Dwivedi, consutant psychiatrist, Max Healthcare, New Delhi. "As long as a woman is physically healthy and active, there's no stopping an orgasm. That menopause marks the death of sex life is an orthodox social myth," he explains. So good sex is about overcoming this mental block. "In fact, monogamy involving love and care may actually lead to a better sexual bonding as you and your partner reap the benefits of years of togetherness," adds Chulani.
The challenges
Manipulating menopause: Because of dramatically reduced testosterone and virtually non-existent oestrogen, sex drive drops. But there are options if you want to rev things up: Many women try menopausal hormone therapy, MHT (formerly called hormone replacement therapy, or HRT), which involves taking oestrogen and progestin (or oestrogen alone) to relieve vaginal dryness and hot flushes and reduce bone loss. MHT is controversial, not only because studies show it can increase women's risk of strokes, heart attacks, and breast cancer, but also because some forms can sap testosterone, causing libido to wane even more.
Pesky pounds: The more body fat you have, the less libido-boosting 'free-floating' testosterone you have. If you're obese, losing 10% of your total weight can do wonders for your sex drive, found researchers at Duke University Medical Center. Multiple studies have also shown that after just 20 minutes of exercise, blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in more lubrication, better arousal and better orgasms.
- With inputs from Kathakoli Dasgupta
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