How do you conquer stage fright?

My own experience in front of the crowd.

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I remember it quite vividly - my first time experience getting up on stage to speak in front of an audience that consist of my school mates. I was very pale in the face and when I held the microphone in my hand, it was as if there was a little rat inside the microphone that I had to struggle to stop it shaking. It didn't. I stammered. I was sweating very heavily. 

My mind was working very furiously. 'the hell am I doing here? I'm crazy to be doing this. This can be my downfall for my image. I look really stupid!'

But I went on. It was not good. It was really bad. And I felt really demotivated that day. The feeling I had when I was on stage - like a naked man standing there for people to criticize how you look. That's how bad it was. 

DID I STOP DOING IT THOUGH?

Well, no. If I did, I wouldn't be sharing this with you, would I? I love to speak in front of the audience, but I just couldn't relax myself when I speak. So, most of the times I only made myself looked stupid. 

or so I thought (will explain further, please read on)

I joined my first public speaking competition in 2004. For the first time ever, I represented my school for the English Public Speaking and I was excited but seriously nervous at the same time. There were two parts in the competition, where the first one being a prepared speech that you have prepared before coming to the competition and the second was an impromptu session, meaning you are given a subject to speak during the competition. 

I thought, for my level, I did quite well for the first part. I memorized my speech at home before I came, so when it was my turn to speak, I just looked up at the ceiling and did what I had to do. 

The second one?

I did horribly. Another chapter in my life where I felt really stupid and embarrassed. I was actually talking about something totally unrelated to the topic that was handed to me. 

Obviously, I lost the competition. 

But my will to fight did not. I braved the challenges again. 

Over the years, I took up the challenges to speak again, in various events, competitions and functions. The nervousness never really did leave me. It was still a ghost faithfully following me everywhere I went. 

UNIVERSITY MALAYA 2007

My first year at the university. Once more, I took up the challenge to conquer my fear. I joined the English debate, debating against other students from other faculties, one of them was the Faculty of Law student. 

We were given a subject on canning students in public. Discussing the relevance. My team members and I were holding the position of supporting the motion. My other team members had spoken first while I took the role of third speaker. 

The opponent was presenting a very good case on their parts. I did not. In fact, I was the downfall of our team. I presented the case horribly, not exactly fighting for my case that well. 

I lost, again. 

There were moments in my life when I thought, damn it - maybe I'm not fit for this after all. How many times should I embarrass myself over and over again?

and become the laughing stock of the audience, again and again?

Somehow, I didn't quit. Instead, I kept on fighting. 

STUDENT IN FREE ENTERPRISE, SIFE (2009)

Two years after I have entered the university and the English debate, I joined a student-led organization called SIFE. It was a club, unlike many others I have joined previously in my academical years. Thanks to SIFE, I have actually developed a unique perspective upon business and social entrepreneurship which was very helpful as I fought for my survival in the university. 

In SIFE, there was a competition held every seventh month of the year (July) and every participating university would send in representatives to present their projects during the competition. 

I was very fortunate to have been given the honor to be part of presenting team. Actually, I volunteered. I couldn't resist embarrassing myself, could I?

Our team made it to the final round of the competition.  In the final round, we were to present in front of corporate figures from various companies, some of them Shell and KPMG. It was a 24 minutes presentation and I was doing quite well during the presentation, because again, I memorized my parts before I came to the competition. 

Me on the most left. 2009.

But then, there was a Q an A session. 

Again, I did horribly. 

When I watched the video again to assess my performance on that day, after the first 30 seconds, I felt like jumping off the tallest tower in the world! What a fool!

BUT DID I QUIT?

Frankly, no. I joined the competition again for the second year. In between July 2009 and July 2010, I volunteered again to present in front of audience at various events. I needed more airtime. I needed more embarrassing moments. 

THEN I REALIZED...

Actually, the embarrassing moments I had accumulated over the years had been blessings in disguise. Had I quit way back when I first spoke in front of my first crowd, I would never realize this. And that was the year 2000 when I had first spoken. It took me a decade to find the answer. The key as I like to call it. 

It was not a short journey of discovery after all. It took me many years to realize this. 

There was a method that I took when I tried to conquer stage fright. That was,

to speak very loud and hide behind the "energetic" image that I tried to portray when I was on stage.  

That worked for a few times, and then I realized when I used that method, I started to talk rubbish again which, obviously, defeats the purpose of the whole thing. 

So, what did I realize?

That I realize, all the while, I was nervous and I let that nervousness took the better of me. I let the ghost presented, not me. I was not relax on stage and when we are not feeling calm, we tend to forget what we wanted to say and what we were supposed to say. 

Now, everytime I speak in front of the public, usually I take a look at my audience. I smiled and looked at them as though they are my friends. They are there to listen and not to bring you down. 

Too often, in the past, I thought of them being there to criticize me, to bring me down and just waiting for me to stop talking. Or to laugh at me. That's not how we're supposed to look at them, actually. 

THEY ARE THERE TO LISTEN, SUPPORT AND HEAR WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO SAY

You see, if you thought of them as the "enemy" who are waiting to laugh at you, don't think of it that way. Instead, look at them as though they are your friends. 

That's the first step. 

And then, if you must, the moment when you have the microphone in front of you and every eye in the hall seemed to land upon you, don't speak first. Take a few seconds if you must - look at them, smile and while doing that, breathe in and breathe out. 

That's the second step.

Don't rush things. Even if you are given a few minutes to speak, the first two steps that I have just shared with you are necessary to help you to be calm and only then, can you get your thoughts properly organized. 

When you speak, say it one by one. Don't say what you wanted to say too fast because by presenting too fast, you can get your speech said all wrong. Take your time. Just say one at a time and the words will come out naturally from you.

That's the third step.

When you are speaking, don't look at the ceiling or anywhere else but the audience. This will only boost your confidence when you have eye contacts with them. It will make them feel comfortable and can feel the energy you are trying to deliver.

If you are looking at the ceiling, then they find it hard to connect with you. When that happens, they will start to lose concentration and stop listening to what you've got to say. 

That's the fourth step.

If you are nervous and cannot stop the shaking that you have around your microphone, then request from the organizer for the microphone-stand. 

And then, put your hands in your pocket or at the back. 

As you go along and you start to feel more comfortable with your audience, then you can start to play with your hands gestures. 

That's the fifth step. 

And when you said something wrong or not the way they were supposed to be said, don't say shit! or urm... but instead, do this as I usually do these days.  Well, that's all wrong! I said something I didn't mean to say. Forgive me.. or something like that. 

My point is, turn them into momentary jokes. This will give the impression to the audience that you are in fact, feeling comfortable. 

REGARD THE GHOST AS YOUR FRIEND

When I am speaking these days, I still have that ghost following me around. I still sweat, but not that much. Instead, I just sit and look around my environment while smiling. By smiling, you can actually help yourself to lift the pressure of you. 

Bear in mind that the audience is there to hear what you have to say, not to laugh at you - unless you're a comedian! 

It's perfectly normal to feel nervous on stage. Every now and again I still have stage fright but when I take my 5 steps with me, I would be able to present better. 

In fact, when I entered the SIFE Competition for the second time, I actually welcomed the Q and A session! I love it. It was actually a conversation you have with somebody who wants to know more about the team's projects. 

Me on the most left. 2010

So, bear in mind, it was not at all scary up there.

And when you find yourself feeling embarrassed up there and bound to be the laughing stock of your school, your colleagues or strangers, don't worry, by the time you have walked off stage after that, they wouldn't remember what you have said or done. 

I still speak today, but more relax, calm and enjoying them. 

I am not the best speaker like Obama or the politicians, but at least I have found a friend in my ghost that I am no longer afraid to face the audience anymore. 

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It's an activity I enjoy, after all.

But the most important thing is, don't stop trying. Don't quit. If I had quit after my first airtime back in 2000, I might not find speaking as a pleasure today.

Just remember to do your homework well before you speak. It will help you to feel a lot better during the presentation.


Watch this video. I love how he presented his case. Awesome man. I've learned a lot by watching his videos.

Good luck!

Be well.