Married Indians are sexually bored

Wife swapping, one-night stands and threesomes are not just happening in Bollywood, but also entering the sex lives of urban Indians. Let's face it, married Indians are sexually bored with their spouses and are seeking gratification out of wedlock. Sex for young India now comes with no strings attached - emotional or marital. Young India likes its sex life spicy and is no longer coy about it. The startling revelations come from the ninth India Today-Neilson Company Annual Sex Survey.

The study focused on new norms of sex against the changing dynamics of marriage, family and society. It involved 5,365 respondents (2,680 men and 2,685 women) across 11 cities, including Delhi, Mumbai, Ahmedabad, Chennai, Kolkata, Hyderabad, Bangalore, Patna, Lucknow, Jaipur and Ludhiana. The sexual satisfaction levels have shockingly dipped since the first India Today Sex Survey nine years ago.

Now, only 27 per cent married couples say they are truly satisfied with their sex lives as against the majority in the first survey. Forty-eight per cent of husbands accept their ideal bedmate is not their wife, and 33 per cent wives admit that sex becomes monotonous and unimportant after a few years of marriage.

Although 65 per cent couples do fantasise about experimenting with sexual positions, more than half of them are too bored and don't bother to try anything other than missionary.

The survey also found that 60 per cent of working couples depend on visual stimulus to get turned on, 27 per cent prefer watching others having sex, 13 per cent fantasise about orgies and eight per cent about threesomes.

Experts blame this boredom on endless distractions. The relentless pursuit of fatter paychecks and promotions, and round-theclock intrusion of BlackBerrys and the internet has left couples with no quality time inside the bedroom. Emotional absenteeism has set couples on the dangerous trajectory of detached sex.

Instead of finding ways to reignite the passion in their marriages, most couples are seeking options outside. Sixty-six per cent husbands watch porn, 28 per cent of them are open to one-night stands, 23 per cent admit having extramarital affairs and 16 per cent say they wouldn't mind swapping their wives. Also, 10 per cent men admit to having had threesomes.

Women are not far behind, as 34 per cent regularly watch porn, 24 per cent have had one-night stands, orgies and even paid sex, and three per cent have had threesomes.

"People are experimenting with their love lives like never before," Dr Bir Singh, professor of community medicine at AIIMS, said. But while experimentation seems to be the new trend, there are still some old rules that say sexual hypocrisy still persists. For 61 per cent Indians, live-in relationships are still not acceptable and 23 per cent feel it's not in when it comes to their families. So is the case with premarital sex. Only 25 per cent couples are fine with the idea, that too if it doesn't involve their families. Talking about safe sex, women still find it difficult to negotiate the use of condoms. 

Positions: Indians routinely try out five love positions, as against 41 combinations that Americans usually indulge in.

Frequency: 10 per cent of married couples make love daily, as against 20 per cent in a 2004 survey. 20 per cent make love more than twice a week.

Satisfaction: Only 46 per cent men and 39 per cent women say they are always satisfied after sex. 

Delhi

Early birds: 44% respondents had sex first as teens & 51% march to the altar sans virginity

Mumbai

Wedded woes: While it tops in overall happiness at 44%, it also tops when it comes to sex with multiple partners at 39%

Jaipur

Bedded bliss: The city tops both in happiness between the sheets and maximum sex before marriage at 33% and 37%

Kolkata

On the side: Kolkata is cool with extramarital affairs, with only 39% people finding it unacceptable

Chennai

Massage Mecca: This city loves to spice up sex with massage at 33%,compared to the national average of 18%

Ahmedabad

Touch and go:A peak performer,with 92% 'fulfilled'in bed. But for 65%,sex cools down soon after marriage

Hyderabad

Basic instinct: 25% have flings on the side,17% try threesomes and 32% buy off-the-shelf morning-after pills